Crossroads

adoptee crossroads

Is there anything harder than being at a crossroads in your life? I hate gambling and making a decision at the fork in the road is just like gambling. Left vs Right… what’s down that road versus the other road? What kind of consequences will I face by choosing one over the other? The trick is committing to the decision you make. Once you’ve made the decision, don’t go back and think, what if. Even if you’ve made the wrong choice there is a way to turn it into a positive and learn from it. I faced a crossroad when making the decision of whether or not to contact my birth father. He had no idea my birth mother was ever pregnant with his baby so he first had to be told he had a child! I struggled for days on whether or not I wanted my birth mother to tell him about me. What if he had this perfect life going and the news would disrupt his happiness? But if he wasn’t told then I would wonder every day of my life how he would’ve reacted to the news. I had to decide out of the two worst case scenarios, which one could I live with? I decided I could live with the possibility that the news of my existence could possibly disrupt his happy life. My birth mother gave him the news. He had nothing to say, nothing to ask and no desire to know me. THAT, I can live with…. Never knowing what that reaction would have been would’ve tormented me! I had to make the decision and I had to commit to it and it turned out just fine! Crossroads are a gamble and you have to be prepared to deal with worst case scenarios either way but whatever you do, don’t live with regrets!

2 thoughts on “Crossroads”

  1. Awww! That is sad that he doesn’t want anything to do with you…that must have been a huge surprise for him though. Perhaps he will change his mind after being able to come to terms with this news?..

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