If you can’t make everyone happy, then at least make yourself happy!

adoptee happyI am a people pleaser. It is my greatest fault and my greatest attribute all at once. I am happy if I’ve made someone else happy, which seems like a win-win situation but it becomes a problem if you’re trying to make multiple people happy in a situation where pleasing one person, displeases another. Then you might try to solve that problem by prioritizing the people you’re dealing with. Let’s say you’d rather please your spouse than your parent, or vice-versa. Another factor is the guilt level. How guilty will you feel by not doing what that person wants you to do and then of course, what are the consequences you will suffer? I will sometimes figure out a plan and then immediately regret it because someone lets me know they don’t like that. So then I back-track and change the plan to make that person happy then someone else is unhappy about it. All the while I’m trying to protect everyone’s feeling and tip toe around a solution and then all of a sudden I’M OVERWHELMED! (sigh)….And then I start beating myself up for not doing the right thing in the beginning. I learned that in these situations I should just do what makes ME happy. It’s very hard to do, but when I’ve been able to do it, everything has magically worked out where everyone is happy! When I make other people happy, I am happy and the cycle continues hehe….

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